Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Does Time Really Heal the Heart?

It's been over 15 years but my heart still aches when I think of my friend, Danica, and the terrible accident we were in that took her life. It's weird how even though most things that have happened in my life I've forgotten over time but for some reason everything about that day is still as clear as a bell and can be relived minute by minute in my head. Why am I writing about this? Well, today is her birthday and even though she isn't here with us anymore, in my mind, she still deserves a birthday wish. Ugggghhhh, I knew I wouldn't be able to type anything without tears surfacing.

At the time we were a funny pair. We both weren't a big fan of girls and found ourselves hanging out with guys all the time. Less drama I guess. We pretty much spent every second together, even working hours, and would often find ourselves thinking the same thing and even finishing each other's sentences. I had never really had a best friend like that before. I completely loved her family and they were always so welcoming to me as if I was one of their own. I remember clearly driving home with my parents from Dillon, MT, the day after the accident and my mom telling me that we were going to stop at Danica's house to see her family. I remember the panic and fear setting in immediately as I thought of how upset they may have been at me for surviving and their daughter not and how angry they must be that I had the nerve to show up at their house. As we approached the driveway Danica's parents were waiting and as I walked up the steps they completely embraced me erasing all fears I had of any anger that they may have been feeling. Unconditional love is all they showed. They are an amazing family that I love dearly and always will. Time and distance has somewhat made us drift apart but to me they will always be a huge part of my life. I really need to be better at keeping in touch, I'm so awful at that. To this day I still wonder why her and not me. It's human to do so I think. And it's still human to think "If I had only done this, or this, or this" which I still find myself doing today.

One thing I do know is how grateful I am for Heavenly Father and his love for us. Without that knowledge I'm pretty sure Danica's death would have been unbearable to bear. And how grateful I am to my Father in Heaven for sending her to me at that perfect time in my life and that I was able to experience her friendship even though it was taken sooner than I would have liked. The hymn "Each Life that Touches ours for Good" is always a tear jerker for me. Not only because it stirs up feelings of the loss of a friend but also because it reminds me of all those who have played a part and who do play a part in my life and who have blessed me greatly. I am definately a better person because of your friendships. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Danica! I miss you.

If you would like to learn more about Danica and the scholarship that her parents set up for her visit the website Angels Among Us.

Monday, February 8, 2010


Seriously, the past few days have been NOT so good when it comes to baking in my kitchen! First, my chocolate chip oatmeal cookies came out of the oven flat as pancakes. Well, actually, they were a heck of a lot flatter. So maybe I should refer to it more as paper thin! Oh well, good thing they tasted good but then again if they look like hud who's gonna want to even pick them up to try them. So guess what I did, packaged them up on plates and took them to the neighbors and ran! LOL. Well, kinda! I did take them over with a warning that they weren't pretty and if they didn't want me to make them cookies anymore that they could return the cookies and leave them on my front doorstep and the message would be loud and clear! Then I ran! We really didn't want to pork out on 4 dozen cookies!

Today ended up not being much different! I was making dinner for a friend of mine who had surgery and decided I'd make use of my very ripe bananas and make banana chocolate chip bread. When I first started mixing the dry ingredients I quickly figured out that I hadn't been paying attention to my teaspoons and put way too much of the spices in and ended up throwing that in the garbage and starting over. When I finally finished mixing it the right way I threw it in the oven and everything seemed like it was now running smoothly. When it was time to pull it out of the oven it definately did not look normal! So I pulled out the recipe to check if I had missed anything and good golly, I left the baking soda out! Well, now I know why baking soda is so important! As a result, I was left with no more time to whip up something else and quickly raced to the store and picked up some klondike bars. Who doesn't like icecream, right?! Now that, I don't think I could mess up. Actually, this week, don't put it past me! LOL.

I would have posted pictures but then that would mean I would have had to put an "R" rating on my blog due to disturbing images! Ugggghhhhh, I think I'm putting my spatula to rest for a couple of days until my brain is no longer scattered! This baker needs to pull it together and fast! Valentine's is just around the corner!