Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Does Time Really Heal the Heart?

It's been over 15 years but my heart still aches when I think of my friend, Danica, and the terrible accident we were in that took her life. It's weird how even though most things that have happened in my life I've forgotten over time but for some reason everything about that day is still as clear as a bell and can be relived minute by minute in my head. Why am I writing about this? Well, today is her birthday and even though she isn't here with us anymore, in my mind, she still deserves a birthday wish. Ugggghhhh, I knew I wouldn't be able to type anything without tears surfacing.

At the time we were a funny pair. We both weren't a big fan of girls and found ourselves hanging out with guys all the time. Less drama I guess. We pretty much spent every second together, even working hours, and would often find ourselves thinking the same thing and even finishing each other's sentences. I had never really had a best friend like that before. I completely loved her family and they were always so welcoming to me as if I was one of their own. I remember clearly driving home with my parents from Dillon, MT, the day after the accident and my mom telling me that we were going to stop at Danica's house to see her family. I remember the panic and fear setting in immediately as I thought of how upset they may have been at me for surviving and their daughter not and how angry they must be that I had the nerve to show up at their house. As we approached the driveway Danica's parents were waiting and as I walked up the steps they completely embraced me erasing all fears I had of any anger that they may have been feeling. Unconditional love is all they showed. They are an amazing family that I love dearly and always will. Time and distance has somewhat made us drift apart but to me they will always be a huge part of my life. I really need to be better at keeping in touch, I'm so awful at that. To this day I still wonder why her and not me. It's human to do so I think. And it's still human to think "If I had only done this, or this, or this" which I still find myself doing today.

One thing I do know is how grateful I am for Heavenly Father and his love for us. Without that knowledge I'm pretty sure Danica's death would have been unbearable to bear. And how grateful I am to my Father in Heaven for sending her to me at that perfect time in my life and that I was able to experience her friendship even though it was taken sooner than I would have liked. The hymn "Each Life that Touches ours for Good" is always a tear jerker for me. Not only because it stirs up feelings of the loss of a friend but also because it reminds me of all those who have played a part and who do play a part in my life and who have blessed me greatly. I am definately a better person because of your friendships. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Danica! I miss you.

If you would like to learn more about Danica and the scholarship that her parents set up for her visit the website Angels Among Us.

7 comments:

Debbie Jo said...

Sheesh, tear jerker warning! Naomi, I remember that day we got the phone call. It was THAT very time in my life that I wanted to be just like my cousin Danica. What an example! Thank you for remembering her birthday.

Jennie said...

A lot of thoughts went through my head when I read your post, but words can't explain them all and do any justice. Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you all today!
Happy Birthday Danica!

Debbie said...

Happy birthday, Danica! I don't remember you being in an accident. Amazing what happens in the lives of those we love without us knowing/remembering. Thanks for the reminder that God loves us... even if we don't understand His ways. Love you!

mistieleigh said...

I remember you telling me about that. i can't even fathom going thru something like that. And i can't imagin ever forgetting it either. how nice for you to write a little tribute to her on her bday.

Judy said...

I have a friend that emailed me and told me to get on your blog because we have similar stories. I felt the goose bumps up my ares as I read your post. I am so sorry about your friend. You can read about mine here: http://enjoy-lifes2short.blogspot.com/2010/02/sweet-memory-monday.html and here: http://enjoy-lifes2short.blogspot.com/2008/05/memorial-day-weekend.html

The day after she died my mom came in my room and told me to get ready to go up to see her family! It was the worst feeling, but her mom took me in her arms and said, "I am so sorry that you lost your best friend." Wow huh? Any way, I would love to follow your blog. I related so much to your post and am glad Lynn (she's from canada and I am from Idaho) sent me to your blog.

Maile said...

Wow. These types of events really shape our lives. I'm so grateful for the gospel and the hope it gives us.

BreAnna said...

You know I often wonder if time really does heal the heart or if you just get used to living with a void? I seem to think it is the later more and more these day. You of course move forward but you never really "heal" entirely just like a real wound there is always a faint scare for battles past.